Nothing but Drunk
by Kuja's Moon
Summary: After recalling an incident with his former boyfriend, Squall goes to a party to get drunk. Implied SeiferSquall Implied IrvineSquall


Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own these characters. So please don't sue.

Warnings: Shounen-ai with a tad bit of a graphic explanation, Depression, Drinking

implied Seifer x Squall, implied Irvine x Squall

Hopefully a better edition, I went through and changed some parts that I wasn't happy with before. Hopefully it makes more sense now.

Nothing but Drunk

"Squall? Beer?"

"What kind?" He allowed his face to turn toward his friend, slowly moving his eyes up to meet the blue eyes.

"Sapporo -- actually. Only the best!! You know the Garden wouldn't allow anything else!"

"Zell, the Garden doesn't allow any alcohol." Squall reminded his friend.

"Well, that's if they know about it." Zell cracked up.

"Yeah, give me one." Squall nodded, deciding to ignore the blonde's comment. He stared at his surrounding. Everyone he could think of was here, and they were at the moment all getting properly trashed. He really didn't understand why the none of the instructors were breaking down the door for noise violations. But then he supposed that everyone was having a similar party, even tight assed instructors. Speaking of which he noticed Quistis in the room. Ah, there she was talking heatedly to Irvine. She was definitely a card, she was. To think that she had once liked him, Squall was still shocked at the thought, though he wouldn't ever admit something so trivial shocked him.

"Hey, Squall! Catch." A can came flying at his head, curtsy of Zell, and with surprising accuracy he caught it.

For a moment he stared at the top of the can, as if surprised it was in his hands. He dimly wondered why the hell he was at this party anyway. So what it was the end of the year, so what? He didn't want to be here, there were people just everywhere, jammed in places he didn't know people could fit. Zell was a popular kid, even if he was loud... or perhaps that's why he was popular. But Squall wasn't. He just wanted away from all these people.

But then it dawned on him, why he came. The answer was evident of the cold can that was in his hands. He wanted to get truly smashed; he didn't even care if he made a fool of himself because of it. He didn't care of he died, or if he puked out his lung. But he couldn't even stand his existence at the moment, or, to be more exact, he couldn't stand what his life had become.

Mechanically he wiped the top of the can with the end of his shirt then popped it open. His eyes becoming unfocused on the people around him, as he took his first sip. The alcohol rushed through him like a potion; he imagined he could feel it's healing properties taking effect on him. He looked about himself and found a lone spot on the sofa in the back of the room; it looked remote from the majority of the partiers. He fell back into the seat, letting the cushions envelope him. Half listening to what was going on around him, half not, he sipped at his drink, before giving up and downing the rest of it.

"Need a new one, Squall?" Selphie asked as she walked by right when he set his can down.

He nodded mutely, and watched her grab his can and run to the kitchen for a replacement.

"Here you are." A cold can slide into his outstretched hand, and Sephie bounced with excitement about getting the beverage. She turned to look over her shoulder, pointing to the table he had just left. "Hey, we're all over there, if you want to come...?"

He shook his head, again wiping the top off before he opened the can. He watched rather disappointedly, out of the corner of his eye, before she left. He was bein stupid, really. Because he really didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be around his friends, but he didn't have the energy to admit this to himself. He watched as she was enveloped in a group of people, leaving him to his own thoughts for company.

And, as he chugged his beer, the thoughts came. He realized he bottled his emotions; he'd accepted that a long time ago. But for some reason he always forgot that when he was drunk, they would all flood over him.

(One week prior)

He'd finished class early and he was running down the hall in his excitement. It wasn't often that he got excited, but it meant they could leave early for their date. It was rare but a smile spread over his face, and, had anyone saw him, they might have had a heart-attack. His fingers shook with excitement as he got to their shared dorm room, almost laughing at the thought that no one really expected them to be "a thing." They were mortal enemies... or so everyone thought. But Squall knew better. They were the hottest item at the Garden, he could vouch for that. So Seifer was his first boyfriend... so Seifer was his first anything-friend, they loved each other more enough to make other couples pale in comparison.

The door slide open and he bounded inside, not even bothering to knock on the door to Seifer's room before he charged through, and... And stopped short in shock. He swallowed hard as the scene took place before his eyes. He wasn't even aware of the tears that had already formed, threatening to roll down his cheeks.

And Seifer just looked at him, his eyes glittering.There was no remorse in those eyes. Not to say he looked gleeful of his actions, but he seemed to challenge Squall to say anything. The boy he was fucking... the one under him... stared in horror, as if he had been frightened that this might happen, as if he was well aware of what was going on with Seifer and Squall.

Squall was aware that the image before him would be burned into his memory for a long time, as he clenched his jaw to keep everything back that threatened to break from him. He took a step back and then another one and another, until he was removed not only from the room, but was standing in the hallway with a closed door before him. He stood there for a moment breathing in and out, in and out, not really knowing what he was looking at.

"Squall."

Wait, that hadn't happened... no one had called his name.

(Present)

"Squall?" Irvine was next to him calling his name, and for some reason when Squall looked at him, he couldn't focus on him. How much had he drank anyway? "Squall? I heard about what happened." "What did you hear?" He felt his defenses go up.

"We all know." Squall just stared at him. Oddly he couldn't hear anything around him; he could see the people, merrily as hell, but he couldn't hear anyone but Irvine. Wow, did he always look this sexy? At that though, Squall knew he shouldn't drink anymore, he shook his head. Irvine was talking about something important, something everyone knew about. That frightened Squall. "It was really horrble that he did that to you. I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to go through this alone."

Not alone. Squall felt himself wobble, even in his seat on the deep sofa. Maybe it wasn't really himself that had trembled at those words, but something inside hime. No, he didn't want to be alone right now, as much as he thought he had. Not really. He felt his chin tremble with the on coming of tears. Fuck, but he was an emotional wreck. "Hey! Hey! It's okay!" The voice was at redirect-bak-20050612 line 137. xt to his ear, deep and comforting. He felt arms encircle him tightly, as he started sobbing into the broad chest. For the first time in a long while he felt safe.

Owari.

So I'm not really sure I like it, but it just wanted itself to be written. Odd little fic. I suppose, it was forcing it's way out, just because of the recent party I went to and watching my brother trash himself over his current girlfriend. Originally it was going to be completely different, but Seifer decided to be a bad guy in this one. What can you do, ne?


End file.
